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  • Lorelei Bryan

Real women are...

Updated: Oct 6

As my life goes on, I find myself reexamining my thought processes on a lot of subjects. While there are certain things I do not see ever changing, (my faith, for example), there are also times when, upon reflection, I must humbly admit that I was way off base; that I was wrong. A lot of people seem to have trouble saying, "I was wrong," these days. Being able to look at something from a different perspective is something that some people seem to be absolutely opposed to for some reason. I think of it as being enlightened. (Not "woke." I hate that word).

An example of a change of perspective occurred just this morning. I used to be one of those people who went around saying "real woman have curves," as if a woman's worth, her beauty, her sex appeal, or her "realness" could ever possibly be defined by the shape of her body. Real women are thick, thin, tall, short, dark, fair. Real women have freckles, wrinkles, scars, stretch marks, moles, or pimples. Real women's bodies are curvy, flat, muscular, young, old, and some have fewer parts than others or parts that they have had implanted or that they put on every day. Real women have incredibly good health and some real women have a great many health issues. Real women have a whole range of abilities and levels of intelligence.

Some real women are princesses at heart and some are tomboys, and some tomboy princesses. Real women are straight, gay, bisexual, or otherwise belong to the LGBTQ+ community. And some women used to be men. As I roll all of this around in my mind and contemplate the innumerable ways for a woman to be "real," I am reminded of a quote from a book that has been cherished for generations...

"If you feel your value lies in being merely decorative, I fear that someday you might find yourself believing that’s all that you really are. Time erodes all such beauty, but what it cannot diminish is the wonderful workings of your mind: Your humor, your kindness, and your moral courage. These are the things I cherish so in you." (Marmee March in "Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott) Before you begin a statement that begins with "Real women...." I hope that you might think for a moment and remember that all women are real women. Dedicated to all the real women in my life. You are amazing and I cherish each and every one of you.


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